Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Stranger's Wiseguy Reviews of Seattle Colleges


So You've Decided to Go to College in Seattle
by Brendan Kiley

Seattle has its own Seven Sisters—you may recall, or may even have been rejected by, the famous East Coast consortium: Vassar, Wellesley, Mount Holyoke, et al.—each with its own sisterly identity. Seattle's are the University of Washington (the busty prima donna), Seattle University (the pretty, smart, sanctimonious one), Seattle Central Community College (the one in a middling rock band), Seattle Pacific University (the forgettable one), Cornish (the insufferably arty one), Art Institute of Seattle (the would-be arty one who will actually wind up designing price tags), and ITT Technical Institute (the one who keeps trying to convince you to host a Tupperware party). (see link for more)

The Stranger (Seattle) Sept 17, 2009
What People Think About Your School

It doesn't really matter what people think about your school because you are who you are and you're attending your school for your own intensely personal reasons and etc., but to preempt any unpleasant surprises:

If you attend the University of Washington, people will think you're dumb, unless you're studying science, in which case people will think you're smart but dorky. If you're attending the University of Puget Sound, people will assume you're smart, but not smart enough for a fancy East Coast school. If you're attending Seattle Central Community College, people will assume you have drug and/or achievement issues. If you're attending Seattle Pacific University, people will assume you're either celibate or a closet case or both. If you're attending Seattle University, people will think you're relatively intelligent and maybe Catholic but nothing special. If you're attending Cornish College of the Arts, people who know their local art history will associate you with John Cage and Merce Cunningham. People who don't will think you couldn't—or wouldn't—hack it at a normal college. If you're attending Pacific Lutheran University, nobody will know what to think of it because nobody's ever met anybody from Pacific Lutheran University. Best to not admit you're from a college at all. Say you're an arborist and make up some s*** about elms or cedars or something.

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